The first weekend in December of the 2020 season I took part in a zoom get-together of my extended paternal family who I haven't had much contact with since my father passed away and we moved to the US. It was great to see many of my cousins grown up and with little ones of their own while some yet have just started finding spouses of their own. In short, they also will have growing families in the coming years.
As for the elder generation of aunties and uncles, they all looked happy and cheerful as the pandemic has locked much of them down this year and this was a nice break to see all the family in once place.
Though only scheduled for 20 minutes, and as I was nervous and jittery and there were A LOT of people I wanted to give attention to, the visit lasted closer to one hour with not a moment of silence as questions were answered, stories shared, and jokes made. At the end, I turned off the camera and brought in my Mrs. and the two boys to show them off to the family for a first. We sang a little bit (not recommended on Zoom because everyone's sense of pitch and tempo is only worsened by the lagging internet connection), and waved goodbye.
Since we were already dressed up and looking quite festive, I thought we may as well take a few photos for the scrapbook, and update our family Christmas portrait as we hadn't had another in two years and now we had another little one!
It wasn't until I was editing the photos that I realized the different combinations we had taken each had a unique relationship exhibited. For all of us, it was our love as a family unit. For me and the boys: the love between father and sons. For the Mrs. and the boys: the nurturing and caring love of a mother and children. The boys by themselves: the tomfoolery and love that exists between two brothers.
The last photo to edit was the last one we had taken: a photo of just myself and my wife. I teared up quite a bit after I had edited these photos to be better representations of how we saw things, but I teared up the most when it came to myself and my wife. What hardships we have gone through and made it.
We made it together 5 years come December 23 (our wedding anniversary). We hardly have time with each other now with everything that goes on in our lives. Those of you who have little ones understand. And once we do have some time, we're usually too tired to give each other the ideal attention and instead cuddle up and stream some sort of criminal justice show along with a bowl or two of ice cream.
There exists beyond the tiredness and the loneliness that accompanies being busy and others needing you, a love for one another; a very strong love for one another.
Though we have children and we would never want to put them through a divorce, that is not the reason we have made and will continue to make our marriage work. As two parties entering into an agreement we pledged to set aside our differences and consider those things which make us both one. We promised to look after and look out for each other. And with all the busy-ness that's going on we still are working to keep going and keep up with the changes that our family endures as time goes by.
I believe that I can be with my wife forever, so why wouldn't I lay the groundwork for that now in mortality?
If we ever seriously consider divorce, we will have no one to blame but each other. We both want to make this work, and so we continue on, even if it means she's dragged into being Mrs. Claus at least once a season.
I love her so much. She's endured so much and continues to look after us all. At least for us, divorce isn't an option because we never intend to let any problem so bad that it'll lead to that. I'll take the time we get to talk to one another, even if it's not as long as I'd like, over anything.
Yours as always,